Daughter #1 arrived back in Texas rather unexpectedly. We had tried so hard to convince her that staying in California was the best thing for her to do, seeing that she wasn't going to be able to bring her daughter here. I guess we were trying the tough love approach, hoping that somehow it would sink in and have a positive effect on the rest of her life. We explained that she didn't need to go to school this semester, she could just work and get to know her daughter better. We explained that she could go to any one of a thousand schools in California, that they would welcome her and her GI bill money into their school.
What made the arrival even more shocking was that she had been here already for almost a week before she appeared at the door. There was no hi or hello, no apology or explanation, but just an "I'm here to pick up my stuff" kind of attitude. Really all she could say was that she had told "Daddy" that she was going to come. Of course she forgot the part where he told her that it wasn't a good idea and that we couldn't support her if she came.
So she's here, but not in communication with us. She's here and living with a neighbor's cousin. She's here, but it's as though she isn't here. Except that our granddaughter has lost her mother. Precious little girl knows that she has a mother, but her mother has never taken care of her, never taken her home, never been a 24/7, 365 days a year kind of mother. It goes against everything that I ever believed about having a child or being a mom. But then I have to face the music, that I am not in charge and my daughter is an adult who is making her own decisions. It hurts really badly when I think about it too much, so I have to lay it aside and think that Precious Girl's Nana( her other grandmother) loves her and takes care of her and supports her like a mom should and maybe that's OK.
Thursday, August 11, 2011
Monday, August 1, 2011
The Fair
It's getting close to "back to school" time here in Texas. Not so in New York state, where I grew up. There , they have another month of summer vacation left. Soon enough the cooler winds will begin to blow and it will feel like autumn is really coming. Its been 25 years since the last time I attended the Schaghticoke fair, the fair of my childhood memories. Fair time signaled the end of summer and the beginning of the school year for me for all of my growing up years.
Fair time was freedom time for me, a time when my world centered on whatever livestock and exhibits I had taken to fair that year. Fair time meant seeing people you didn't see but once a year and doing things that you didn't get to do but once a year. It meant thinking you owned the fairgrounds and that you were really important because you were showing livestock at the fair. People knew you by your family and by whatever 4-H club you were in.
Schaghticoke Fair was our county fair so it was the most important fair to our family. We often had up to 20 head of cattle there at our peak, as well as 20-30 sheep of different breeds. A few years we also showed dairy goats at Schaghticoke Fair. During my high school years, I was the only child in my family to still be in 4-H, so I literally did it all. My mother would come up to the fairgrounds during the day to stay in the cattle barns and guard our exhibit. Sometimes she would come down to the sheep barns, especially if it was a show day, but she enjoyed the cattle people best. My brother would come up to help with the open class cattle, especially if we had several milking cattle. The milkers were taken to a milking parlor there on the fairgrounds and were milked there early in the morning and again in the afternoon.
We had several show days because of the variety of animals we took to the fair. There was a sheep show day with both 4-H and open class shows held for all the breeds represented there. My breed was Southdowns, which I always loved because of their little bear like faces. Our family had several breeds of sheep, but the Southdowns were mine. They were shorter and more docile than some of the other breeds like Cheviots and Suffolks. I say this in past tense because the modern day Southdown has become a much taller, leaner breed than it once was.
Sheep showing day was long and hot. Sheep are not the most cooperative animals and they are shown by placing one hand under their necks and holding oto the fold of skin while placing the other hand on the top side of the neck for security. When the judge came to review the animals, the showman's optimal postion was squatting at the sheeps side holding onto only the underside of the animals neck so the judge could have a good view of the whole animal. Because of this rather light hold on the sheep, and the sheep's skiddish nature, many sheep ended up being lost in the ring. The sheep would give one good buck up and the handhold was gone. Also the lanolin from the wool would make your hands extra greesy and add to the"catching the sheep" fun.
Sheep showmanship class involved alot of preparation on the 4-h ers part. You wanted to show a sheep that was fairly tame and knew you well. The sheep had to be washed and blocked and trimmed so that it looked like a snowy white rectangular shaped sheep. Blocking and trimming would take many hours of putting the sheep up onto the show stand and carding , then trimming the wool for just the right shape. A lot of practice was needed to get this right because it was easy to gouge the sheep's wool or make it look uneven.
Years of practice blocking and trimming had me frequently winning showmanship in high school and I was also chosen to be a Master blocker and trimmer at State Fair. I believe the techniques for getting sheep ready have totally changed since I last showed and many sheep are slicked sheared a few weeks before the show so no blocking can be down. Halters are also used in some shows which must make the back breaking work of squatting and grabbing the animal under the neck a thing of the past.
The cattle shows were held on different days. All the 4-H cattle shows were held the same day, but open class was held on various days depending on breed. I was a good showman, but never as good with cattle as I was with sheep. It probably had to do with preparation because you really had to work with your animal before show day so you worked as a team.
I did have other 4-H projects such as flowers, vegetables, demonstrations, dog obedience,dairy goats and an occasional sewing project, but nothing matched the livestock, either in terms of time spent or importance in my life at that time.
Fair time was freedom time for me, a time when my world centered on whatever livestock and exhibits I had taken to fair that year. Fair time meant seeing people you didn't see but once a year and doing things that you didn't get to do but once a year. It meant thinking you owned the fairgrounds and that you were really important because you were showing livestock at the fair. People knew you by your family and by whatever 4-H club you were in.
Schaghticoke Fair was our county fair so it was the most important fair to our family. We often had up to 20 head of cattle there at our peak, as well as 20-30 sheep of different breeds. A few years we also showed dairy goats at Schaghticoke Fair. During my high school years, I was the only child in my family to still be in 4-H, so I literally did it all. My mother would come up to the fairgrounds during the day to stay in the cattle barns and guard our exhibit. Sometimes she would come down to the sheep barns, especially if it was a show day, but she enjoyed the cattle people best. My brother would come up to help with the open class cattle, especially if we had several milking cattle. The milkers were taken to a milking parlor there on the fairgrounds and were milked there early in the morning and again in the afternoon.
We had several show days because of the variety of animals we took to the fair. There was a sheep show day with both 4-H and open class shows held for all the breeds represented there. My breed was Southdowns, which I always loved because of their little bear like faces. Our family had several breeds of sheep, but the Southdowns were mine. They were shorter and more docile than some of the other breeds like Cheviots and Suffolks. I say this in past tense because the modern day Southdown has become a much taller, leaner breed than it once was.
Sheep showing day was long and hot. Sheep are not the most cooperative animals and they are shown by placing one hand under their necks and holding oto the fold of skin while placing the other hand on the top side of the neck for security. When the judge came to review the animals, the showman's optimal postion was squatting at the sheeps side holding onto only the underside of the animals neck so the judge could have a good view of the whole animal. Because of this rather light hold on the sheep, and the sheep's skiddish nature, many sheep ended up being lost in the ring. The sheep would give one good buck up and the handhold was gone. Also the lanolin from the wool would make your hands extra greesy and add to the"catching the sheep" fun.
Sheep showmanship class involved alot of preparation on the 4-h ers part. You wanted to show a sheep that was fairly tame and knew you well. The sheep had to be washed and blocked and trimmed so that it looked like a snowy white rectangular shaped sheep. Blocking and trimming would take many hours of putting the sheep up onto the show stand and carding , then trimming the wool for just the right shape. A lot of practice was needed to get this right because it was easy to gouge the sheep's wool or make it look uneven.
Years of practice blocking and trimming had me frequently winning showmanship in high school and I was also chosen to be a Master blocker and trimmer at State Fair. I believe the techniques for getting sheep ready have totally changed since I last showed and many sheep are slicked sheared a few weeks before the show so no blocking can be down. Halters are also used in some shows which must make the back breaking work of squatting and grabbing the animal under the neck a thing of the past.
The cattle shows were held on different days. All the 4-H cattle shows were held the same day, but open class was held on various days depending on breed. I was a good showman, but never as good with cattle as I was with sheep. It probably had to do with preparation because you really had to work with your animal before show day so you worked as a team.
I did have other 4-H projects such as flowers, vegetables, demonstrations, dog obedience,dairy goats and an occasional sewing project, but nothing matched the livestock, either in terms of time spent or importance in my life at that time.
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