Both of my parents are in the hospital tonight. Seems so strange that my father would have asked to room with my mother, but he did. Apparently they both have pneumonia, although my mother is not doing nearly as well as my father. He'll probably go home in a day or two, where my mother may be in the hospital for weeks, depending on how things go.
Its strange how families change over time. I never could have envisioned how the relationships between my siblings would so affect my mother. There are five children in my family. My oldest sister Jennifer lives in Oswego, NY and has lived there for many years. Next is Melissa. She lived in South Carolina for the duration of her marriage, about 15 years and has lived not too far from my parents farm for the last 19 years . Jonathan is my brother who has lived on the farm for all of its existence. He got married 30 years ago and moved into a mobile home near my parents house , then some years later got divorced, remarried and built a big log home just above my parents home. Deborah lives nearby my parents home in Schaghticoke. And I live in Brownsville,TX, far away from NY and the farm. Ive lived in Brownsville for 24 years now.
Over the years, there has often been conflict in relationship to aspects of the farm. My brother has done the major part of the physical labor on the farm for many years which has included milking cattle, haying, planting and harvesting other crops as well as maintaining the farm and its buildings and machinery. Jon and my mother were often at odds with each other, because my brother was the physical manager , but my mother wanted to be the verbal manager and there were many conflicts regarding their different styles
Melissa came up from SC 19 years ago after a bitter divorce, and I thought she was going to be a good ally for my mother as well as someone to help out with farm things. She and my mom bonded right away because of her love of all things farm and animals. However, they also clashed right away and my mom realized that Melissa was not going to stay on the farm with her. Soon Melissa bought a farm a short distance away from my parents and my mother helped her with everything from taking care of her children to giving her money to fix her house , barns and buy more sheep.
Monday, October 18, 2010
Sunday, September 26, 2010
More changes for the 'rents
Dad has been having problems with the circulation in his legs for years. I remember him having his first vein surgery on one leg when I was in college, which must have been 25 years ago or so. Even at that point, the doctors were saying the other leg was too bad, too far gone to do the vein stripping surgery. Over the past 20 years he has had problems with ulcerations on his legs which would appear and never heal. Slowly, one of them grew so large it was like a raw cuff around one of his legs, which wept and oozed all the time. It would not heal for a long time because Dad didn't take care of it. He didn't wash it, clean it or bandage it the way he was supposed to for years.
When Dad finally left the farm and my sister Melissa began to dress the wound, it actually started to heal a bit. At last , Dad was able to have skin grafting surgery to close the wound. It healed well and he seemed to be doing much better when I saw him in August.
Apparently, last week one of the ulcerations on his foot became inflamed and swollen. He was put on antibiotics, but for whatever reason the foot and then the leg shut down and became cold. The doctor sent him to hospital for an arteriogram and it was determined that there was no hope of saving his leg because it had no circulation in it.
So tomorrow, September 27, Dad will have one of his legs amputated above the knee. If all goes well, he will be in the hospital for a few more days, then go to Sunnyview Rehab hospital for a few weeks. He'll have to learn how to get up and walk on one leg, using the walker and all the things that go with that.
There is no reprieve at this point with either of my parents. My mom continues on her downward decline with Alzheimer's Disease and this is hard to listen to and hear about. Although I don't get to see her often, I know that "Mom" the one that I knew is gone and now its as if a different person inhabits her body. You can either contradict her every few words because she's making no sense or you can enter her world and go along with whatever she says. She told my sister Deb that a "rich Englishman" was living at my sister's house. Apparently she doesn't remember her husband (Dad) at all or maybe little snippets. Either way, we are not telling her about Dad's surgery because it woulds only confuse her.
Staying positive about the situation is becoming more and more difficult. I know that I am not the only person to have elderly parents with many medical problems, but that knowledge doesn't make it any easier. The fact that I live so far away from my parents and have to hear everything after the fact and second or third hand also does not improve things for me. Worry, concern, guilt..these are all the things that add up to difficulty staying positive.
Enough for today..we'll see what tomorrow brings .
When Dad finally left the farm and my sister Melissa began to dress the wound, it actually started to heal a bit. At last , Dad was able to have skin grafting surgery to close the wound. It healed well and he seemed to be doing much better when I saw him in August.
Apparently, last week one of the ulcerations on his foot became inflamed and swollen. He was put on antibiotics, but for whatever reason the foot and then the leg shut down and became cold. The doctor sent him to hospital for an arteriogram and it was determined that there was no hope of saving his leg because it had no circulation in it.
So tomorrow, September 27, Dad will have one of his legs amputated above the knee. If all goes well, he will be in the hospital for a few more days, then go to Sunnyview Rehab hospital for a few weeks. He'll have to learn how to get up and walk on one leg, using the walker and all the things that go with that.
There is no reprieve at this point with either of my parents. My mom continues on her downward decline with Alzheimer's Disease and this is hard to listen to and hear about. Although I don't get to see her often, I know that "Mom" the one that I knew is gone and now its as if a different person inhabits her body. You can either contradict her every few words because she's making no sense or you can enter her world and go along with whatever she says. She told my sister Deb that a "rich Englishman" was living at my sister's house. Apparently she doesn't remember her husband (Dad) at all or maybe little snippets. Either way, we are not telling her about Dad's surgery because it woulds only confuse her.
Staying positive about the situation is becoming more and more difficult. I know that I am not the only person to have elderly parents with many medical problems, but that knowledge doesn't make it any easier. The fact that I live so far away from my parents and have to hear everything after the fact and second or third hand also does not improve things for me. Worry, concern, guilt..these are all the things that add up to difficulty staying positive.
Enough for today..we'll see what tomorrow brings .
Sunday, September 5, 2010
Peach Chutney
I went to New York to visit my family last month and as usual, I was inspired by my sister Deb. Its not that I want to do just what she does, but I always feel a little inadequate in terms of cooking,canning, gardening, sewing etc. She's got the whole home cooking with fresh grown produce down to a science.
I decided to try a peach chutney recipe for my first foray at canning in a long time. I do remember canning with my mother as a teenager. She always made the same types of canned goods; tomato sauce with peppers and onions, grape juice from our grapes, applesauce from our apples and occasionally some pickles. My favorite type of pickle to make was something Mom called winter salad, although I can't seem to find anything under that name on Google. The closest thing I could find was a hot dog relish that has turmeric in it, which makes it bright yellow.
Anyway, today peach chutney was on my radar. First of all because Deb made some while we were in NY. and second of all, because I love anything that has fruit in it. The process of making the chutney was not difficult until I stated working with the hot peppers. I knew Serrano peppers would burn my skin if I didn't handle them carefully, so I did what I could to avoid touching them with anything, but the knife. Then came the problem. I couldn't get the seeds out without handling the peppers. I thought I didn't handle them much with my fingers and it seemed to be going well, but after I finished, my hands felt like they were on fire.
One hour later, my hands are still burning and the chutney is in jars in the canning kettle. Like Sarah says, at least I tried. Hopefully when I finally get to eat some chutney, it will all have been worth it.
I decided to try a peach chutney recipe for my first foray at canning in a long time. I do remember canning with my mother as a teenager. She always made the same types of canned goods; tomato sauce with peppers and onions, grape juice from our grapes, applesauce from our apples and occasionally some pickles. My favorite type of pickle to make was something Mom called winter salad, although I can't seem to find anything under that name on Google. The closest thing I could find was a hot dog relish that has turmeric in it, which makes it bright yellow.
Anyway, today peach chutney was on my radar. First of all because Deb made some while we were in NY. and second of all, because I love anything that has fruit in it. The process of making the chutney was not difficult until I stated working with the hot peppers. I knew Serrano peppers would burn my skin if I didn't handle them carefully, so I did what I could to avoid touching them with anything, but the knife. Then came the problem. I couldn't get the seeds out without handling the peppers. I thought I didn't handle them much with my fingers and it seemed to be going well, but after I finished, my hands felt like they were on fire.
One hour later, my hands are still burning and the chutney is in jars in the canning kettle. Like Sarah says, at least I tried. Hopefully when I finally get to eat some chutney, it will all have been worth it.
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